Casa de Alex
Moradia Risco Perguntas? RSS


prewetts:

jordanleeemerson:

secretgaygent:

rnints:

imagine if girls used the same style of joke to degrade men like “cool story bro now go chop some lumber”

GO CHOP SOME LUMBER

"what r u doing out of the garage go fix my car"

Post by rnints-deactivated20131114 (via oddthepurplecat)
November 19, 2013 at 7:13 PM | Post Permalink | 511,287 notes

hannanigans:

aaamaaazooon:

LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH
WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS
I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT
FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING

THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FAGGOT SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS


rub me on your body

ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT

IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF
I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.


i’m so fucked up

AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE
I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.
IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER
0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN

I tried so hard not to reblog


I laughed so hard omg

hannanigans:

aaamaaazooon:

LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH

WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS

I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT

FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING

image

THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FAGGOT SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS

image

rub me on your body

ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT

image

IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF

I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.

image

i’m so fucked up

AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE

I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.

IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER

0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN

I tried so hard not to reblog

I laughed so hard omg

(Source: braingremlin)

Post by braingremlin (via lisaedelstein)
October 27, 2013 at 9:47 PM | Post Permalink | 348,435 notes

drrncrss:

THEY FUCKING DID IT AGAIN

lol

Post by drrncrss (via floridaboyforlife)
October 5, 2013 at 12:01 PM | Post Permalink | 227,014 notes

pixiedust-paycheck:

pixiedust-paycheck:

When I met my fiance, we were both going through very rough times. He had horrible temper and depression and often says I was the one who changed all of that. This is why he calls me his Belle; because he used to be a ‘terrible Beast’.
Today, he presented me with this cup from New Fantasyland, and I almost had a heart attack when I noticed it was broken. He said he did it himself, because “what is Belle without her chipped cup?”.

Guys, stop reblogging. Now my fiancé thinks he’s cool and he’s just a lil shit.

pixiedust-paycheck:

pixiedust-paycheck:

When I met my fiance, we were both going through very rough times. He had horrible temper and depression and often says I was the one who changed all of that. This is why he calls me his Belle; because he used to be a ‘terrible Beast’.

Today, he presented me with this cup from New Fantasyland, and I almost had a heart attack when I noticed it was broken. He said he did it himself, because “what is Belle without her chipped cup?”.

Guys, stop reblogging. Now my fiancé thinks he’s cool and he’s just a lil shit.

Post by pixiedust-paycheck (via alightinsongshiningstrong)
August 19, 2013 at 8:29 PM | Post Permalink | 64,522 notes

(Source: raptly)

Post by raptly (via lisaedelstein)
August 15, 2013 at 12:44 PM | Post Permalink | 148,121 notes

officialspaghetti:

FACT OF THE DAY: president obama does not have a plan in case the fire nation attacks

(Source: officialunitedstates)

Post by officialunitedstates (via rustscohles)
August 13, 2013 at 5:16 PM | Post Permalink | 167,357 notes

officialspaghetti:

yes i have a question for mr obama, sir, do you have a plan in case the fire nation attacks

(Source: officialunitedstates)

Post by officialunitedstates (via rustscohles)
August 13, 2013 at 5:16 PM | Post Permalink | 43,254 notes

"

“In English,” Professor Austin said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative.”

A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

"

Post by katydidkatydidnt (via trophygay)
August 13, 2013 at 8:47 AM | Post Permalink | 95,500 notes

alexandpipes:

"Are you trying to have phone sex with me??"

"Y—I thought that’s what w—are—I’m confused."

Post by alexandpipes (via alightinsongshiningstrong)
August 10, 2013 at 6:36 PM | Post Permalink | 781 notes

omg

(Source: iraffiruse)

Post by iraffiruse (via alightinsongshiningstrong)
August 10, 2013 at 6:33 PM | Post Permalink | 275,075 notes

Post by masterfulsarcasm (via alightinsongshiningstrong)
August 10, 2013 at 6:23 PM | Post Permalink | 307,164 notes

lysistratas:

either my chem teacher didnt read my about me paragraph or he just really doesnt care

lysistratas:

either my chem teacher didnt read my about me paragraph or he just really doesnt care

(Source: lysistratas-moved)

Post by lysistratas-moved (via paigeworld-deactivated20130823)
August 10, 2013 at 10:37 AM | Post Permalink | 223,139 notes

tesskun:

dr-vblschrf:

image

OH MY FUCKING GOD

Post by dr-vblschrf (via slowdownload)
August 2, 2013 at 6:48 PM | Post Permalink | 135,528 notes

Post by daftpunkisplayingatmahouse (via rustscohles)
July 28, 2013 at 11:21 AM | Post Permalink | 63,611 notes

Post by fyeahcolinandryan (via gary-frick)
July 28, 2013 at 10:46 AM | Post Permalink | 1,414 notes

Welcome to Casa de Alex | 1 / 19 Next »






I like to be called Alex. I have a strong Portuguese heritage. I'm nineteen and still trying to find my place in the world. I'm working on giving more structure to my life. I've fallen in love with the nature of words. Music is a distraction from life. I thoroughly enjoy surrounding myself with positive people. When I love, I love hard. I believe in God. (:








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